Making Changes

There is a short scripture, which can be found in the Bible (Matthew 5:48) as well as the Book of Mormon (3 Nephi 12:48) which states that we should be perfect, even as Christ, or our Heavenly Father. We need not worry if this command seems impossible at present. We are children of God, and so have the potential to be like Him. This life is our time to learn and to grow, to make changes in our lives, to become who we want to be.

A few years ago I was able to attend a day course with work that was entitled ‘Best Year Yet’. It was a great course, and enabled me time to really think about the areas of my life that I needed to improve in. Looking back that probably was one of my Best Years, in terms of sticking to my goals. We looked at different areas of our lives, such as being a Mother, Sister, Daughter, YW Leader, Wife etc. and created goals that were measurable for each area. I remember that I had decided to read a certain number of books that year, to visit with my brothers and sisters a certain number of times, to write to a certain number of missionaries per month, to go to the temple every month. These goals were displayed where I could see them every day, and I recorded any progress there too.

In previous years and ones since I have made goals, but I have never devoted so much time to really thinking about the goals that I want to make. I want to make time to do this for 2008. Too often when I look over entries in my Journals of New Years Resolutions I see the same things written.

I suppose I am much like the man described by Benjamin Franklin, who, upon buying an axe from an ironsmith, “… desired to have the whole of its surface as bright as its edge. The smith consented to grind it bright for him if he would turn the wheel; he turned while the smith pressed the broad face of the axe hard and heavily on the stone, which made the turning of it very fatiguing. The man came every now and then from the wheel to see how the work went on, and at length would take his axe as it was, without further grinding. ‘No,’ said the smith, ‘turn on, turn on; we shall have it bright by-and-by; as yet it is only speckled.’ ‘Yes,’ says the man, ‘but I think I like the speckled axe best.’ ” (Benjamin Franklin, The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin, New York: Roslyn, Walter J. Black, Inc., 1969, pp. 138–39.)

At first I want to be perfect, as the scripture asks us to be, but then when I realise how much hard work is involved – even though it is possible – I decide that maybe its good enough the way it is. Especially if I see others around me who’s axes look the same, or worse, but we need to strive to be like the Saviour.

If we take time to look at our lives, we know what we could be doing better, and not only that, but we usually know how to go about changing that aspect of our lives. Elder Joe J. Christensen gave a BYU devotional where he describes a young county farm agent who wanted to put his college training to use and said to the farmer, “Sam, you know that now we use something called contour plowing.” He went on to also expound on the benefits of hybrid strains of grain and crop rotation. About the time he got to the benefits of milking the cows three times a day rather than two, the old farmer said, “Hey, sonny, just a minute. I’m not farming half as well as I know how already.”

I am often like this farmer, I know what improvements I should make, I just haven’t got around to it yet. One of President Spencer W. Kimball’s famous quotes was “Do it now”. That’s what we must do, if we are to progress towards perfection, if we are to move on with our goals, to new and more perfect ones, we need to do it now. In Alma 34:32-33 we read:

For behold, this life is the time for men to prepare to meet God; yea, behold the day of this life is the day for men to perform their labours.

And now, as I said unto you before, as ye have had so many witnesses, therefore, I beseech of you that ye do not procrastinate the day of your repentance until the end; for after this day of life, which is given us to prepare for eternity, behold, if we do not improve our time while in this life, then cometh the night of darkness wherein there can be no labour performed.

This is our time to make changes, to become who we want to be. In Alma 31:5 we read about the power of God’s word to change people:

And now, as the preaching of the word had a great tendency to lead the people to do that which was just—yea, it had had more powerful effect upon the minds of the people than the sword, or anything else, which had happened unto them—therefore Alma thought it was expedient that they should try the virtue of the word of God.

And again after King Benjamin speaks to his people we read in Mosiah 5:2:

And they all cried with one voice, saying: Yea, we believe all the words which thou hast spoken unto us; and also, we know of their surety and truth, because of the Spirit of the Lord Omnipotent, which has wrought a mighty change in us, or in our hearts, that we have no more disposition to do evil, but to do good continually.

Our own Latter-Day prophets have pointed out that this change will happen for us also. Elder Boyd K Packer has taught that “True doctrine, understood, changes attitudes and behavior," and that, "The study of the doctrines of the gospel will improve behavior quicker than a study of behavior will improve behavior."

We need to read the scriptures and understand the doctrine, so that we can have this mighty change of heart. And it is this change of heart that can motivate us to ‘do it now’. This change of heart is not a once in a lifetime occurrence, or shouldn’t be. We need to be learning continually, in order that the momentum of our changes be kept up. The Pride Cycle that we see so often in the Book of Mormon can be applied to our lives too, when things are going well, it is all too easy to sit back and not provide the same force for change as was needed to get to that position, and then it is mighty hard to get that momentum back.

I love that we get to start a new year, it reminds me of starting a new book at school. The writing always tended to be neater at the beginning of the book – but maybe this time, the end will be even neater. We are given a New Year, but also a New Week and a New Day, all great times to recommit to those things we need to change in our lives to become more like our Saviour Jesus Christ.

I am so thankful for the Gospel in my life, for the opportunity I have to learn the doctrine, to make covenants with my Heavenly Father and to be reminded of them each week. I want to keep the covenants that I have made, and not just let them fizzle out like other goals often do. It will take a lot of effort, but it really will be worth it. Let’s help each other, by showing those around us that it is possible to make our Axe’s really shiny, that Heavenly Father has prepared a way.

Building an Eternal Family – 23rd September 2007

Elder M. Russell Ballard said in a talk entitled “What Matters Most Is What Lasts Longest,” I believe the mission statement for mortality might be “to build an eternal family.” That is my topic for today – Building an Eternal Family.

One of the most important truths that I know is that I have a Father in Heaven who loves me, and wants me to return to live with Him again someday. Our Heavenly Father loves us all; He does want us to return to live with Him again someday. He is our Father, and we are His children.

Being a mother to Cara has taught me a lot about the strong ties of family. I love the family I was born into; The Cottrells. My parents are amazing, and have managed to teach me and my siblings a lot about life, about the Gospel, about being a good person, and about service. But I have never known not being a part of that family. I have one younger brother, but I can’t remember before he was born. My family have always been my family, and so it seems natural that I would love them as I do.

Almost 18 months ago now, Andrew and I got married. We started our own little family. The Munzers. We decided to get married because we loved each other. We wanted to be with each other always, and have a family together. I got to choose Andrew, my best friend, to be in my family.

As soon as we found out that I was pregnant, we loved our baby. She didn’t even look human yet, but we loved her. Being pregnant wasn’t always easy, but we loved her. We thought she was a boy, but we loved her. We didn’t know her name, but we loved her. We loved our baby before we’d seen her, and when we did get to see her we loved her even more. As she is learning and growing, even though she is very heavy to carry now, we love her. We didn’t get to choose Cara, and we haven’t even known her that long, but she is our daughter and we love her. This just proves to me how strong family ties are.

Family is the most important thing that we have in this life, and it will still be the most important in the next life.

In the Proclamation on the Family it states, “…that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.”

Being part of a family is part of the plan, in fact it is central to it. Our Heavenly Father loves us, and want us to be happy, He knows how best we can achieve that. We may not all be in what we think to be the perfect family, but what we have been asked to do, is build an eternal family. Through striving to build an eternal family, I believe that our family will become closer and closer to our idea of a perfect family. When we talk about family, I don’t think this is just talking about parents and their children, but also the extended family. In my patriarchal blessing I am told to be close to my brothers and sisters so that we can go into the eternities as a close and loving family. This is surely a message for us all.

Elder L. Tom Perry said, “To build a foundation strong enough to support a family in our troubled world today requires the best effort of each of us—father, mother, brother, sister, grandmother, grandfather, aunts, uncles, cousins, and so on.”

All of us, in whatever roles we have can contribute to building our families for eternity. At work a couple of years ago I attended a course entitled “Best Year Yet”. As part of this course we had to identify all of our roles in life. Some of the roles I have now are as a mother, wife, sister, aunt, young women’s leader and visiting teacher. For each of these roles we then had to think of 3 goals to achieve that year. It really opened my mind. We can help build eternal families in each of our roles in life, if we look for the opportunities. Some of those roles, may include helping to build other’s families, but really we are one big family.

Elder L. Tom Perry shares some ideas of ways in which we can build our families so that they can weather the storms of life. He says to, “Build traditions in your families that will bring you together, for they can demonstrate your devotion, love, and support for one another. For each of the members of your family, these events would include blessings of children, baptisms, other priesthood ordinances, graduations, missionary farewells, homecomings, and, of course, marriages.”

We have been able to attend quite a few of these events in my family recently. Cara has two younger cousins, and we were able to share in the celebrations of their arrivals on the days of their blessings. Andrew’s sister has just left on her mission to Dublin, Ireland, and we were able to spend time away with her and Andrew’s family before she left.

Other traditions can be made for birthdays or Christmas, as well as occasions that happen more frequently, dinnertime or Sundays.

If there are family occasions that we are unable to attend we could write a special letter to the family member who has a special day. Cara, at only eight months old has quite a few letters. Most of them from me, but also from other family members, I hope that when she is old enough to read these, she will treasure them, and know of the love that her family has always had for her. Let it be a tradition to show and talk about our love for each other.

Elder L Tom Perry says that to build lasting, loving relationships we should “Listen to one another, be united, work together, play together, pray together, study together. Live celestial principles together, serve the Lord together.” To build good relationships we need to do things together. I feel very blessed in our family that we are able to do so much together. Andrew is student, studying English at University. He has a lot of work to do, but much of that involves reading and writing essays. Sometimes I get to read some of what he is reading, and we can discuss his studies together. I enjoy reading through his essays, and being a part of his studies. The more we can do together the better.

We are given so much good counsel by our leaders in the church, all of which will help in building our eternal families. Daily Family prayer and Family Home Evenings, provide opportunities to feel the Spirit together, to learn together and to enjoy each other’s company. We can gain much by reading the scriptures together as a family, and learning and discussing Gospel principles together. These types of learning experiences and Gospel discussions obviously change a lot dependant on your family. With young children in the family basic principles will be taught simply, but as the family changes so can the FHE’s. I love to have in depth discussions on Gospel topics with my family. With the world we live in it is also possible to have these times over great distances. Only last week I received an email from my Mum that she’d sent to all of the family, just letting us know how much she enjoyed last week’s Priesthood and RS lesson on marriage. Just to know her feelings about that lesson made me enjoy reading it so much more.

Our homes are special places that we can be in with our families. Thomas S. Monson said, “A home is made of love, sacrifice, and respect. We are responsible for the homes we build. We must build wisely, for eternity is not a short voyage. There will be calm and wind, sunlight and shadows, joy and sorrow. But if we really try, our home can be a bit of heaven here on earth. The thoughts we think, the deeds we do, the lives we live not only influence the success of our earthly journey, they also mark the way to our eternal goals.” I have heard it said that “the mother sets the tone in the home” – although I feel that this is not only true of the mother, I do think that our attitudes affect one another. If we are regularly irritable, angry or upset, the home feels very different to when we are happy, cheerful and optimistic.


In a revelation given through the Prophet Joseph Smith we are counselled, “Organize yourselves; prepare every needful thing; and establish a house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God”. This counsel can be applied to our own homes, as well as to the Temple. We should pray in our homes, fast in our homes, build up our faith and learn together. Let us make our home, as God would have it be.

President David O. McKay said, “With all my heart I believe that the best place to prepare for … eternal life is in the home”. In our homes, with our families, we can learn self-control, sacrifice, loyalty, and the value of work. We can learn to love, to share, and to serve one another. It is in our homes, living these principles that we will build our eternal families. These qualities wont just come, as we live in a house with our families, but they can come if we work together to live the Gospel.

Joseph F. Smith said: “There can be no genuine happiness separate and apart from the home…There is no happiness without service, and there is no service greater than that which converts the home into a divine institution, and which promotes and preserves family life”. That is quite a statement. No genuine happiness separate and apart from the home. I don’t think he means we can’t be happy away from home, but that even away from home, to be truly happy we must be helping to build up eternal families. We need to be in the service of our fellow man, which is to build eternal families.

Elder L. Tom Perry simply states, “If we want an eternal family, we must work for it. It does not come by chance.” We do need to work to build our eternal family. We can’t buy one ready built, and they don’t come cheap. However, we are given everything that we need in order that we may build our eternal family.

I love my family. I want us to be together forever. I am so thankful to my Father in Heaven for providing a way for that to be.....

For the Strength of Youth

[Talk at a Youth Standards Evening - January 2007]

The standards that we are given to live by in the church, especially as youth are amazing. Most of us who have grown up in the church may take them for granted, but I hope by the end of mine and my husbands talks you may begin to understand how amazing they are not just for now, not even just until your our age - but how important they are for all of this life and the next.

It is by our standards, especially those of the Word of Wisdom and sexual purity that we stand out from those aroiund us. It is often these things that I get asked about by my non-member friends. My Dad joined the church because of the standards that the young people of the church live by. There was a girl he knew, not my Mum, who was a member of the church. He asked her on a date, and she said that would be lovely, could he pick her up from church after a meeting she was attending. That meeting happened to be a Youth Standards Night, I guess much like this one tonight. My Dad arrived a little early, crept in at the back and heard about the standards that they were expected to live by. He was amazed by these standards and wanted to know more about the Church. I'm so glad that he did.

In the 'For the Strength of Youth' pamphlet the first principle mentioned is 'Agency and Accountability'. We are free to make choices, and we need to take responsibility for thise choices. I was reading a bopok this week about time, and how well we use it. One of the things that stuck out to me was that one barristers opinion was thaht thise people who live in the now and don't think of the future are often those who commit crime. He said that many people may see something nice, and want to take it, but it's only those who don't think about the consequences who do take it. We are so lucky in the church to be told time and time again about the importance of our choices. Every decision that we make decides our future. Some decisions are important, but all of them make an impact. We are also all aware, that if we have chosen wrong, we can repent and change, but this is not the same as choosing right in the first place. For example, someone who has smoked may repent and stop, but this will not remove tar from their lungs.

I'd like to briefly talk about how living the standards from the 'For the Strength of Youth' have really helped me in my life. While at school, as I mentioned before people would notice that I was different by the standards that I lived, this would provide missionary opportunities for me, as well as moments for me to re-affirn the decision I had made for myself, but the benefits of those decisions maybe didn't seem applicable at that time. Others around me were making different choices and having fun, there didn't seem to be too many consequences right there and then.

The time when living these standards seemed to really make a difference was when I arrived at University. I lived in a house of 18, we were all new to University life and out in the world on our own. I remember the first day, everyone was so kind that first day, we all wanted to make friends. There was a lot of getting drunk for a lot of people, some had not preeviously been heavy drinkers, but wanted to fit in with those around them. It was sad to see that a couple of the people who lived in my house that first year, abused their bodies, missed lectures and weren't back for the second year. This doesn't pnly happen to people who are not members of our church. It is at this point when we leave home that we really need to be determined in our beliefs.

Having already been dteremined to live these standards before I went to University made a big difference in my life. Having the opportunity to mingle with other Young Adults with the same standards was also of great importance. I am so glad that I was able to choose to be with good friends that would enjoy good activities with me. We always had a lot of fun, but it was always very different to the kind of fun my university friends were having.

By choosing good friends, and hopefully becoming one, I found Andrew. One of the biggest blessings in my life is being sealed to Andrew. He is a wonderful person, and my best friend - because of the good friends that I'd had through my life I knew what kind of person I was looking for in a husband. I also knew that if I wanted to be that persons wife, I'd have to be that kind of person myself. Because we both lived these standards we were given the privilege to be sealed in the Temple, which is one of the most wonderful experiences of my life.

If you were able to see me fully you would probably notice that I am quite pregnant at the monment. My doctor recently asked me if I would mind coming by and meeting with some of his first year medical students. This was actually really fun. There was 4 of them, and they asked me all kinds of questions about myself and how my pregnancy was effecting my life. Among the many questions they asked were ones to do with how hard it was for me to give up alcohol or smoking and whether I had to cut back on drinking tea and coffee. It was great to be able to answer that I had never smoked and didn't drink any of those drinks. They were amazed, and so was I when I realised how important living those standards were, not only for me, but for my baby. Many people get pregnant, and then really want to give these things up, but when it's a habit, and our lives revolve around them, people find it really difficult. This is something that had never really thought about before. I am so glad that I made the decision a long time ago to live the Word of Wisdom. I have been trying to improve my living it, by eating healthier too, but at least there is not too many things I have needed to change.

Looking forward to our baby being born I've been reading books about how babies and young children learn. It is interesting to note that we learn most and easiest at a young age. Parents all over the world want their children to be happy, kind, modest - but the greatest teacher os example. The higher mine and Andrew's standards are the higher our childrens will be.

I am so thankful for the Gospel in my life. The teachings of the Church have helped me more than I can even know. I love my Saviour and all He has given us. I say these things in the name of my Saviour, Jesus Christ. Amen.