Building an Eternal Family – 23rd September 2007

Elder M. Russell Ballard said in a talk entitled “What Matters Most Is What Lasts Longest,” I believe the mission statement for mortality might be “to build an eternal family.” That is my topic for today – Building an Eternal Family.

One of the most important truths that I know is that I have a Father in Heaven who loves me, and wants me to return to live with Him again someday. Our Heavenly Father loves us all; He does want us to return to live with Him again someday. He is our Father, and we are His children.

Being a mother to Cara has taught me a lot about the strong ties of family. I love the family I was born into; The Cottrells. My parents are amazing, and have managed to teach me and my siblings a lot about life, about the Gospel, about being a good person, and about service. But I have never known not being a part of that family. I have one younger brother, but I can’t remember before he was born. My family have always been my family, and so it seems natural that I would love them as I do.

Almost 18 months ago now, Andrew and I got married. We started our own little family. The Munzers. We decided to get married because we loved each other. We wanted to be with each other always, and have a family together. I got to choose Andrew, my best friend, to be in my family.

As soon as we found out that I was pregnant, we loved our baby. She didn’t even look human yet, but we loved her. Being pregnant wasn’t always easy, but we loved her. We thought she was a boy, but we loved her. We didn’t know her name, but we loved her. We loved our baby before we’d seen her, and when we did get to see her we loved her even more. As she is learning and growing, even though she is very heavy to carry now, we love her. We didn’t get to choose Cara, and we haven’t even known her that long, but she is our daughter and we love her. This just proves to me how strong family ties are.

Family is the most important thing that we have in this life, and it will still be the most important in the next life.

In the Proclamation on the Family it states, “…that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.”

Being part of a family is part of the plan, in fact it is central to it. Our Heavenly Father loves us, and want us to be happy, He knows how best we can achieve that. We may not all be in what we think to be the perfect family, but what we have been asked to do, is build an eternal family. Through striving to build an eternal family, I believe that our family will become closer and closer to our idea of a perfect family. When we talk about family, I don’t think this is just talking about parents and their children, but also the extended family. In my patriarchal blessing I am told to be close to my brothers and sisters so that we can go into the eternities as a close and loving family. This is surely a message for us all.

Elder L. Tom Perry said, “To build a foundation strong enough to support a family in our troubled world today requires the best effort of each of us—father, mother, brother, sister, grandmother, grandfather, aunts, uncles, cousins, and so on.”

All of us, in whatever roles we have can contribute to building our families for eternity. At work a couple of years ago I attended a course entitled “Best Year Yet”. As part of this course we had to identify all of our roles in life. Some of the roles I have now are as a mother, wife, sister, aunt, young women’s leader and visiting teacher. For each of these roles we then had to think of 3 goals to achieve that year. It really opened my mind. We can help build eternal families in each of our roles in life, if we look for the opportunities. Some of those roles, may include helping to build other’s families, but really we are one big family.

Elder L. Tom Perry shares some ideas of ways in which we can build our families so that they can weather the storms of life. He says to, “Build traditions in your families that will bring you together, for they can demonstrate your devotion, love, and support for one another. For each of the members of your family, these events would include blessings of children, baptisms, other priesthood ordinances, graduations, missionary farewells, homecomings, and, of course, marriages.”

We have been able to attend quite a few of these events in my family recently. Cara has two younger cousins, and we were able to share in the celebrations of their arrivals on the days of their blessings. Andrew’s sister has just left on her mission to Dublin, Ireland, and we were able to spend time away with her and Andrew’s family before she left.

Other traditions can be made for birthdays or Christmas, as well as occasions that happen more frequently, dinnertime or Sundays.

If there are family occasions that we are unable to attend we could write a special letter to the family member who has a special day. Cara, at only eight months old has quite a few letters. Most of them from me, but also from other family members, I hope that when she is old enough to read these, she will treasure them, and know of the love that her family has always had for her. Let it be a tradition to show and talk about our love for each other.

Elder L Tom Perry says that to build lasting, loving relationships we should “Listen to one another, be united, work together, play together, pray together, study together. Live celestial principles together, serve the Lord together.” To build good relationships we need to do things together. I feel very blessed in our family that we are able to do so much together. Andrew is student, studying English at University. He has a lot of work to do, but much of that involves reading and writing essays. Sometimes I get to read some of what he is reading, and we can discuss his studies together. I enjoy reading through his essays, and being a part of his studies. The more we can do together the better.

We are given so much good counsel by our leaders in the church, all of which will help in building our eternal families. Daily Family prayer and Family Home Evenings, provide opportunities to feel the Spirit together, to learn together and to enjoy each other’s company. We can gain much by reading the scriptures together as a family, and learning and discussing Gospel principles together. These types of learning experiences and Gospel discussions obviously change a lot dependant on your family. With young children in the family basic principles will be taught simply, but as the family changes so can the FHE’s. I love to have in depth discussions on Gospel topics with my family. With the world we live in it is also possible to have these times over great distances. Only last week I received an email from my Mum that she’d sent to all of the family, just letting us know how much she enjoyed last week’s Priesthood and RS lesson on marriage. Just to know her feelings about that lesson made me enjoy reading it so much more.

Our homes are special places that we can be in with our families. Thomas S. Monson said, “A home is made of love, sacrifice, and respect. We are responsible for the homes we build. We must build wisely, for eternity is not a short voyage. There will be calm and wind, sunlight and shadows, joy and sorrow. But if we really try, our home can be a bit of heaven here on earth. The thoughts we think, the deeds we do, the lives we live not only influence the success of our earthly journey, they also mark the way to our eternal goals.” I have heard it said that “the mother sets the tone in the home” – although I feel that this is not only true of the mother, I do think that our attitudes affect one another. If we are regularly irritable, angry or upset, the home feels very different to when we are happy, cheerful and optimistic.


In a revelation given through the Prophet Joseph Smith we are counselled, “Organize yourselves; prepare every needful thing; and establish a house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God”. This counsel can be applied to our own homes, as well as to the Temple. We should pray in our homes, fast in our homes, build up our faith and learn together. Let us make our home, as God would have it be.

President David O. McKay said, “With all my heart I believe that the best place to prepare for … eternal life is in the home”. In our homes, with our families, we can learn self-control, sacrifice, loyalty, and the value of work. We can learn to love, to share, and to serve one another. It is in our homes, living these principles that we will build our eternal families. These qualities wont just come, as we live in a house with our families, but they can come if we work together to live the Gospel.

Joseph F. Smith said: “There can be no genuine happiness separate and apart from the home…There is no happiness without service, and there is no service greater than that which converts the home into a divine institution, and which promotes and preserves family life”. That is quite a statement. No genuine happiness separate and apart from the home. I don’t think he means we can’t be happy away from home, but that even away from home, to be truly happy we must be helping to build up eternal families. We need to be in the service of our fellow man, which is to build eternal families.

Elder L. Tom Perry simply states, “If we want an eternal family, we must work for it. It does not come by chance.” We do need to work to build our eternal family. We can’t buy one ready built, and they don’t come cheap. However, we are given everything that we need in order that we may build our eternal family.

I love my family. I want us to be together forever. I am so thankful to my Father in Heaven for providing a way for that to be.....